Almost there

We are 33.5 weeks along in this pregnancy. It’s crazy to think she could be here in 6 weeks or less! I mean, everyone said the second pregnancy flies by, and they were right.

She’s a mover and roller. She stretches out as much as she can, which includes her feet (I’m assuming) pushing out on my right side, like my SIDE..not the side of my belly, my actual side! Z never did that. He was always in the front. She seems to think she needs to take up as much space as possible in there. 🙂

My favorite part of the pregnancy is feeling her movements and watching her move. It’s crazy to think there’s this little human in there that will soon be out here.

I won’t lie – I have moments of “oh my goodness! What am I going to do?”. Our son is 3.5 years old and quite self-sufficient. He can dress himself, go to the bathroom by himself, feed himself, get snacks out, entertain himself and sleep through the night….now we go back to constantly being on call to a baby. Our routine will drastically change. With Z, we were home for almost every nap. With this one – it’ll be summer and I was at a park or playground almost every morning last summer so I am assuming she will have to get used to napping in her car seat or the stroller.

I feel some sadness that I couldn’t decorate a nursery for her (they’ll be sharing a room and the room is currently a dark blue…painting it seems silly when she won’t know or care about the color. When we’re blessed with a larger home, then she can choose a color for her room). She’s getting quite a bit of hand-me-downs. That wasn’t unusual for Z either, but he has all these boy toys, so E will have to get used to playing with what is available. I know she won’t know the difference and that girl toys will somehow show up when needed and wanted, but I still have moments where I feel bad that she doesn’t have all this special treatment that our son had.

She will not want for love, though. 🙂 She has the luxury of an older sibling to love on her. Z is already very excited about being mommy’s helper with E. When we’re in any given store, he will find something pink, or frilly, and say “Mom! Let’s get this for E! She will love it!”. The fact that he’s already looking out for her warms my heart.

She has A LOT of extended family (cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents) who will love on her just as much as any other child in this family.

Of course, E isn’t the only one I worry about. I worry about Z – making sure he knows and feels he’s still just as loved as ever when she arrives. I worry about my patience level. I know that I can be very short-tempered when I am tired and I KNOW I will be tired a lot when E is first here. I worry that he’ll think I love E more than him.

I also know that I’m not the only one who has these thoughts and everything I read and hear says that all those worries are moot. BUT I am a mom and I have them anyway.

I worry about labor. I had an emergency c-section with Z (read his birth story here) but have the all-clear for a v-bac with E. What if I get stuck at 7cm again? What if it’s too much pain? What if it takes FOREVER to have her? What if the one doc I DON’T like is the one on call?

On top of all that, I worry about my husband. Will I be too focused on the children? Will we have time alone? Will we be short and cranky with each other? Will I snap at him? Will our home not be a place of rest for him?

I also know that E will come and our routine and pattern will change and we’ll adjust. I know we’ll look back and say “what did we do when she wasn’t a part of our home?” We will wonder what we did with all our “spare” time before she arrived. HA! 🙂 I think I don’t have any spare time now (my lack of blogging shows that), but I KNOW it’ll be even worse once E is here.

Beyond and above all that, I feel very blessed. I know the Lord gave us E and He will supply all our needs. From the emotional to physical to spiritual to material. He will supply! I am trusting in that.

6 weeks to go, folks…only 6 weeks! And yes, all these thoughts and more will continue to run through my brain!

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