I know, I know – it’s a little late for Valentine’s Day conversation hearts, right? But bear with me…first off, I know some people don’t like these candies. But I do, as does my son (he really takes after me when it comes to quite a few things)… Anyway, These hearts hold special meaning for me on several fronts.
First – before my husband and I ever started dating, we “flirted” with each other, using these. We were at my best friends home and all four of us were hanging out in the living room. There was a bag of these candies between us. We were going through them and throwing the hearts at one another – the ones we thought described a certain person. My husband and I, slyly, were throwing the “you’re cute” and “kiss me” ones at one another. Of course, my heart was beating wildly and I wanted to jump up and down..but I couldn’t. Because my girlfriends had no idea I wanted to make this guy my husband, let alone my boyfriend.
Secondly – they’re my favorite candy now. I am not naïve enough to think that this has nothing to do with that night at my cousins (better known as my best friends) home. I am well aware it probably has a lot to do with it. My son now enjoys them. Carrying on that torch. 😉 I am not, however, impressed with the sayings on them, as of late. They’re more slang than they are real sayings. Boo.
So what do they have to do with me being exhausted? Well, it’s all about a heart matter and conversations. You see, I am exhausted, physically and sometimes emotionally. I work (albeit, from home) from 5/5:30 am to at least 8 pm or later. I do household chores, I babysit, I freelance, I take care of our son, and I just took on a brand new business. All to pay down debt. I’m sometimes dread looking at my phone, because of all the notifications that are on there at any given time…
This makes for a very tired mom and wife. A very tired woman, overall. HOWEVER, the heart matter – I remind myself that this is just a season. Just for a period of time. Just a short chapter in my life book. This too will pass. I will look back one day and be so happy that we made the sacrifices we did to get out of debt. We’re working our success story. We aren’t sitting back, saying “we’re in debt and we can’t get out. There’s no way out!” We’re living proof that the average person CAN get out.
Yes, it takes HARD work and perseverance (for longer than a week). Yes, it means less sleep and longer days. Yes, it means quite a few sacrifices. Yes, it means doing a lot of things that you necessarily don’t want to do. But how motivated are you? I can tell you one thing. I looked at the debt monster. I looked him right in his evil eye and I said “you don’t control us anymore. We control YOU. You don’t tell us how to live our lives anymore. We tell you what to do.”
This means I will have days of wanting to sit and cry from exhaustion. I accept that. There will be days where I make it through by the grace of God (ok, that’s every day – thank you, Jesus!). But I also serve such an amazing God that there are days where the blessings fall and I stand back in amazement. Thankfully, those days far outweigh the bad moments.
The conversations? Those are with the Lord (sometimes through my husband who’s a great encouragement!). Where I remember that we’re being good stewards with our money now. We’re being responsible. We’re eliminating that debt. We’re getting out of the bondage that so easily enslaves.
Folks, if you’re feeling like it can’t be done. Like it’s too much. Or it won’t be worth it. I’m here to say – it CAN be done, it’s not too much and it WILL be worth it. Living super tight now, so you won’t have to later? I KNOW it’ll be worth it and that’s what keeps me pressing on. Take it one minute at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time. One task at a time and one job at a time (ok, so I don’t do that last part, but you know what I mean). There is an end in sight and it’s called FREEDOM.